Hair: The final verdict

More than 40 soccer players have received a warning letter for violating the United Arab Emirates Football Association Guidelines for unethical hair. Before I heard about this, I was unaware that hair could be ethical or unethical. But the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. After all, I do tend to have a strong reaction to a person's hair, and it seems to be based on something deeper than simply my subjective preference. So I concluded that hair can, indeed, be ethical or unethical, and came up with my own standard for judging the ethics of hair. It is based on the following question:

"If I had a child, and the child came home with this hairdo, would I continue to let him or her live in my house?"

If the answer to the question was yes, I deemed the haircut ethical. If, on the other hand, the answer was no, I deemed it unethical. 

I went through some of the world's favorite athletes and sports figures and judged whether or not their hair met my criteria. 

Here are my results:

Synopsis: Nothing says good fathering like growing out a mullet to teach your son a lesson. And when you're Oklahoma State Football coach Mike Gundy, your mullet gets national news coverage, and that makes it all the better.

Final verdict: Ethical

Synopsis: Jamaican sprinter Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce may not have been able to bring home a third consecutive Olympic gold in the women's 100 m, but if there was a competition for best hair, Fraser's do in Rio definitely would have been in contention for the gold.

Final verdict: Ethical

Synopsis: I think former West Bromwich Albion defender Paul Scharner may have been inspired to style his hair after a certain dog-fur-loving Disney antagonist, and its as awful as she is... By the way, has anyone ever noticed the likeness a soccer ball pattern has to a Dalmatian's print? 

Final verdict: Unethical

 Synopsis: There comes a time in a man's life when he must accept the fate of his hair, look himself in the mirror and say, "I'm balding," then kiss his once beautiful locks goodbye. For Ivorian soccer player Gervinho, that time should have been long ago... Someone please buy this man a razor.

Final verdict: Unethical

Synopsis: Just when you think former Portuguese soccer player Abel Xavier's hair could not get any weirder, he goes and does something like this...

...And totally redeems himself!

Final verdict: Ethical

Synopsis: There was a time when I believed that Tim Tebow could make anything look good, but a now infamous hazing tradition by the Denver Broncos definitely proved me wrong. The great Tebow himself couldn't save this friar tuck hair cut.

Final verdict: Unethical

 Synopsis: Having long hair in combat sports is not always convenient. Many MMA fighters choose to keep their hair short, or shave it in the back where an opponent's hands are most likely to get caught and tangled in it. But I'm not quite sure the advantage that UFC bantamweight Ashlee Evans-Smith sees in shaving only the left third of her head.

Final verdict: Unethical

Synopsis: All great things must come to an end. But this past version of NHL right winger Jaromir Jagir's hair can best be described as the place where body meets soul.

Final verdict: Ethical

Synopsis: OK, so this one isn't his hair, it's a hat. But this bad boy landed Denver Broncos linebacker Von Miller on ESPN's Not Top Ten plays, quite an accomplishment if I've ever heard of one.

Final verdict: Ethical

Synopsis: No need to waste mere words on Green Bay outside linebacker Clay Matthews' style... Matthews' hair speaks for itself.

Final verdict: Ethical

Do you have a favorite athlete whose hair you think might be unethical? Post a picture and brief synopsis in the comments below, and I'll let you know my final verdict.